Post by Sofox on Dec 18, 2006 18:18:54 GMT -5
Renard and Steve were sitting in their usual places in the ship's caffeteria.
"So the way I see it," Steve was saying, "is that since computers tell you all the navigation info and you can tell didly squat from looking out the window, all the tour guide would need to do is circle around the stars for a while, land on a secret reserve on the same planet about ten miles from where they took off, and tell the tourists that they are on some exotic hidden planet an immense distance from their home when in reality, if they could get past the boundary, they could get a taxi back."
"Hmmm, yes I see your point, but it wouldn't really be that easy, there are a lot more problems you'd have to consider."
"Like what?"
"How would you hide such a big part of land and pretend it's a whole planet?"
"Just give it a front of some kind, you know, government sanctuary, or commercial greenery farm, a quick fence around it and maybe some natural barriers like rivers and rocks to stop tourists from going too far and there you have it, your own little planet."
"But creating something like that in the first place?"
"Any commercial venture requires capital to get it started, all you have to do is find the right people to finance it and prove you have an idea that can make money. After that it's just a case of buying land and shaping it to look like the wilderness of a faroff planet, nothing that hasn't been done before."
"People would find out, word would spread."
"You underestimate the knowlege of an average tourist. Most of the are oblivious to even the simplest of the local customs, let alone what the local 'scams' are. Besides, it's hardly even a scam. If you really make them feel like they are taking off to a distant planet, leaving their cares behind so they can relax in an invigorating invoronment, then what harm are we honeltly doing to them."
//"I just feel..."
//A shock sent the ship to it's side.
I'd just like to point out at this point that Renard and Steve arn't intending to initiate any sort of tourist scam/business venture. I just showed this conversation to develop their personalities and while I could think of a subtle way to get this accross, I really couldn't be bothered. So let's move on from this and get to the alien attack, which is afterall why I set this on a space ship, I mean why else?
"What was that," yelled Renard clutching the table strongly.
"Woudja relax there, it was probably just another asteroid."
"An asteroid, can't those things destroy the endtire ship."
"Only if you act like a jerk. Now sit down, we don't need to worry about..."
The bing-bong noise of the ship intercom flooded the caffeteria. "This is the captain speaking," announced a nazal voice over the aforementioned system. "I'd just like to let you all know, we have been attacked by aliens, and are surrendering. If you want to speed up your inevitable imprisonment, please make your way to your living quaters and contact Ship Organisation."
"Well that sucks," Steve muttered, "come on, let's head to our quaters."
"But the captain just said that what to do if we want to get captured sooner."
"Making that it will inevitably result in taking the longest possible time before capture. You know what a big oxymoron Ship Organisation. Poor Emmet is still waiting for his chocolate bar to fall from the vending machine, and even then there will probably be a dozen more forms to fill out before he can take it."
"Well if you're sure."
The method suggested by Ship Command DID end in taking Steve and Renard the longest possible time to get captured. Firstly, some organisational glitch had meant the alien soldiers missed their room, a second sweep of the area was canceled due to a grenade accident, and more problems, glitches and confusion seemed to arise from the intense ship beurocracy with regards to the simple task of capturing the waiting friends from their rooms. So much so, that the new alien ship crew had been relieved and replaced twice, the ship had been transported several trillion ecters into alien space, and practically the whole ship had been disassembled and cut up for scrap and resources save for the section of crew quaters our friends had been in (The remaining crewmemembers, who just ran around and shot weapons, were killed in a bloody gunfight, except for the captain who was considered such a jerk that he was thrown into the airlock, however since the aliens couldn't figure out how to actually flush the airlock before being called to other stuff, the captain just starved there). Even when the duo did eventually get caught, through a damn fluke involving an alien intern and a mop bucket, they had barely been clapped with an alien brand of handcuffs before a resistence member shot their captor in the head and instantly freed Steve and Renard. (You may think that this resistance member his human, but in actual fact he's a member of another race that the first alien race were supressing. You may also thing that this first alien race is some sort of dictatioral evil empire thingy whishing to enslave the entire unisverse when in actual fact, they really only pick on humans and that second alien race. Normally when they do something to the humans, the humans just complain to the Geddons, a hyper advanced 3rd alien race, a race capable of obliterating a large chunk of the universe if the technology they possess fell into evil or just plain incompetend hands, and danger which to this point has been prevented by the heroic, courageous and intelligent Geddon named Tim. Anyway, when the humans complain to the Geddons about something the first alien race has done to them, the Geddons just go over, kick the first alien race's asses and tell them not to do it again, making the first alien race leave it for a couple of months before attacking the humans again. The second alien race dosn't complain to the Geddons because nobody cares about them, and so they are usually just constantly beat up and suppressed by the first alien race. The second alien race member who had freed our two humans had done so because he was an optimistic, daydreamer who truely believed in second aline race and human co operation and that heroic displays of bravery and dedication performed by the second alien race would inspire the humans to actually give a damn, creating a new era where the two races could band together to take on the first alien race without the Geddon's help (who would probably at that stage be distracted by a spinning shiny thing). He'd also freed the humans because their captor had crushed his favourite toy underfoot in the streets when he was six years old.
"Well thank you for freeing us there," said Steve to the second alien race member. The member stood there with open eyes. "Erm, I'm Steve and this is my friend Renard." The alien continued to stand there. "Er, so do you have a name?"
"Yes I do," replied the alien.
"Cool, well with introductions out of the way, we really should be out of here."
The alien pointed to an open hatch that lead to freedom through a convienent action packed and suspenseful path where those who traveled through it learned something deep and meaningful. However, Steve and Renard really couldn't be bothered taking the aliens suggested route so they just stole his ship.
"Hey," said Steve looking at the alien's Ship Liscence pinned to the viewscreen, "I've got that aliens name."
"What is it."
"Yseyedo"
And so our duo continued on their heroic adventure that went nowhere.
The End
Epilogue: Yseyedo, eventually tracked down the duo and blasted back into his ship where he faced the duo and fought them in a fiece battle. However, through the fight, they got to know eachother as individuals, and throught this understanding they became deep friends, and vowed to continue to fly through the stars on the ship having crazy and improbable adventures. Yseyedo is now a main character.
"So the way I see it," Steve was saying, "is that since computers tell you all the navigation info and you can tell didly squat from looking out the window, all the tour guide would need to do is circle around the stars for a while, land on a secret reserve on the same planet about ten miles from where they took off, and tell the tourists that they are on some exotic hidden planet an immense distance from their home when in reality, if they could get past the boundary, they could get a taxi back."
"Hmmm, yes I see your point, but it wouldn't really be that easy, there are a lot more problems you'd have to consider."
"Like what?"
"How would you hide such a big part of land and pretend it's a whole planet?"
"Just give it a front of some kind, you know, government sanctuary, or commercial greenery farm, a quick fence around it and maybe some natural barriers like rivers and rocks to stop tourists from going too far and there you have it, your own little planet."
"But creating something like that in the first place?"
"Any commercial venture requires capital to get it started, all you have to do is find the right people to finance it and prove you have an idea that can make money. After that it's just a case of buying land and shaping it to look like the wilderness of a faroff planet, nothing that hasn't been done before."
"People would find out, word would spread."
"You underestimate the knowlege of an average tourist. Most of the are oblivious to even the simplest of the local customs, let alone what the local 'scams' are. Besides, it's hardly even a scam. If you really make them feel like they are taking off to a distant planet, leaving their cares behind so they can relax in an invigorating invoronment, then what harm are we honeltly doing to them."
//"I just feel..."
//A shock sent the ship to it's side.
I'd just like to point out at this point that Renard and Steve arn't intending to initiate any sort of tourist scam/business venture. I just showed this conversation to develop their personalities and while I could think of a subtle way to get this accross, I really couldn't be bothered. So let's move on from this and get to the alien attack, which is afterall why I set this on a space ship, I mean why else?
"What was that," yelled Renard clutching the table strongly.
"Woudja relax there, it was probably just another asteroid."
"An asteroid, can't those things destroy the endtire ship."
"Only if you act like a jerk. Now sit down, we don't need to worry about..."
The bing-bong noise of the ship intercom flooded the caffeteria. "This is the captain speaking," announced a nazal voice over the aforementioned system. "I'd just like to let you all know, we have been attacked by aliens, and are surrendering. If you want to speed up your inevitable imprisonment, please make your way to your living quaters and contact Ship Organisation."
"Well that sucks," Steve muttered, "come on, let's head to our quaters."
"But the captain just said that what to do if we want to get captured sooner."
"Making that it will inevitably result in taking the longest possible time before capture. You know what a big oxymoron Ship Organisation. Poor Emmet is still waiting for his chocolate bar to fall from the vending machine, and even then there will probably be a dozen more forms to fill out before he can take it."
"Well if you're sure."
The method suggested by Ship Command DID end in taking Steve and Renard the longest possible time to get captured. Firstly, some organisational glitch had meant the alien soldiers missed their room, a second sweep of the area was canceled due to a grenade accident, and more problems, glitches and confusion seemed to arise from the intense ship beurocracy with regards to the simple task of capturing the waiting friends from their rooms. So much so, that the new alien ship crew had been relieved and replaced twice, the ship had been transported several trillion ecters into alien space, and practically the whole ship had been disassembled and cut up for scrap and resources save for the section of crew quaters our friends had been in (The remaining crewmemembers, who just ran around and shot weapons, were killed in a bloody gunfight, except for the captain who was considered such a jerk that he was thrown into the airlock, however since the aliens couldn't figure out how to actually flush the airlock before being called to other stuff, the captain just starved there). Even when the duo did eventually get caught, through a damn fluke involving an alien intern and a mop bucket, they had barely been clapped with an alien brand of handcuffs before a resistence member shot their captor in the head and instantly freed Steve and Renard. (You may think that this resistance member his human, but in actual fact he's a member of another race that the first alien race were supressing. You may also thing that this first alien race is some sort of dictatioral evil empire thingy whishing to enslave the entire unisverse when in actual fact, they really only pick on humans and that second alien race. Normally when they do something to the humans, the humans just complain to the Geddons, a hyper advanced 3rd alien race, a race capable of obliterating a large chunk of the universe if the technology they possess fell into evil or just plain incompetend hands, and danger which to this point has been prevented by the heroic, courageous and intelligent Geddon named Tim. Anyway, when the humans complain to the Geddons about something the first alien race has done to them, the Geddons just go over, kick the first alien race's asses and tell them not to do it again, making the first alien race leave it for a couple of months before attacking the humans again. The second alien race dosn't complain to the Geddons because nobody cares about them, and so they are usually just constantly beat up and suppressed by the first alien race. The second alien race member who had freed our two humans had done so because he was an optimistic, daydreamer who truely believed in second aline race and human co operation and that heroic displays of bravery and dedication performed by the second alien race would inspire the humans to actually give a damn, creating a new era where the two races could band together to take on the first alien race without the Geddon's help (who would probably at that stage be distracted by a spinning shiny thing). He'd also freed the humans because their captor had crushed his favourite toy underfoot in the streets when he was six years old.
"Well thank you for freeing us there," said Steve to the second alien race member. The member stood there with open eyes. "Erm, I'm Steve and this is my friend Renard." The alien continued to stand there. "Er, so do you have a name?"
"Yes I do," replied the alien.
"Cool, well with introductions out of the way, we really should be out of here."
The alien pointed to an open hatch that lead to freedom through a convienent action packed and suspenseful path where those who traveled through it learned something deep and meaningful. However, Steve and Renard really couldn't be bothered taking the aliens suggested route so they just stole his ship.
"Hey," said Steve looking at the alien's Ship Liscence pinned to the viewscreen, "I've got that aliens name."
"What is it."
"Yseyedo"
And so our duo continued on their heroic adventure that went nowhere.
The End
Epilogue: Yseyedo, eventually tracked down the duo and blasted back into his ship where he faced the duo and fought them in a fiece battle. However, through the fight, they got to know eachother as individuals, and throught this understanding they became deep friends, and vowed to continue to fly through the stars on the ship having crazy and improbable adventures. Yseyedo is now a main character.